Saturday, January 14, 2006

Dear Internets...

Ever since I flew last weekend to attend my grandmother's funeral, one ear is stuffed up and I can't hear a damn thing. A friend called up to see if I could attend a showing of a Steve Martin play with her. Well, I said, I can't hear anything, and I've developed this loud, hacking cough. It would be a bit like attending a play with your grandpa, minus the nosehairs.

Not that there's anything wrong with nosehairs.

In other news, Content Challenge is going swimmingly, and I am beating out Licketysplit on it, although she does have the excuse that she is hosting a parasite. I've settled on this letter-of-the-day format so I can always have something to say, and I try to keep it at least half-relevant to someone besides me and my navel. (Did you know, internets, that I used to have a navel ring? I had to take it out when I was about 5 or 6 months pregnant. The sacrifices we make for our children! At least the tattoo did not in any way interfere with my ability to bear a child, despite my father having once believed it would utterly ruin my life. Look dad, grandkid! Can you forgive the tattoo now?)

I've started reading this blog 11D lately, written by an academic mommy. She's preparing a rant on genius-related education, which I am looking forward to reading, the better to write my own rant on geniuses and education. Rants driven by blogosphere interest and New Yorker articles. What would we do without The New Yorker, internets? And to think I didn't used to read it at all!! Ah, but that was back in the day when I didn't think Seinfeld was very funny, either. Internets, I used to be oblivious to the existence of Bean Boots. Nor did I know about the superior insulation capacity of silk long johns, the significance of being from Westchester versus being from New Jersey, or the tradition of February vacation week. How did I survive before I lived in the Northeast? And how do I survive now that I do?

Let's see: politics. I'm sorry, I should have called this post "Sources agree Alito Likely to Be Confirmed Despite Opposition". Because, internets, did you know that Alito is going to be confirmed? Please don't bother to call your Senator and suggest that he or she not confirm this believer in the doctrine of presidential infallibility, because Alito is going to be confirmed anyway.

Actually, I have some double-super-secret sources who tell me that Alito is almost certainly going to be filibustered. Got that, internets? A filibuster, I tell you. There's practically nothing anyone can do to stop it, and Karl Rove is totally shitting his pants. In fact, we should call our Senators to ask them if they really think now's the time for a shootout. Let's tell them they should save their ammo for something that really matters, something besides the composition of the Supreme Court for the next 40 years. Calling won't do any good, of course, because those crazy Senators just cannot be stopped. They are determined to take a stand here and now.

Internets, all the insiders on the Hill are telling me there is NO WAY Alito is gonna get confirmed. Quick, tell your friends.

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