Every Word Counts

So I get these emails from babycenter describing what-all my ybab is supposed to be doing each week of her so-called life. Mostly I keep getting them because it reminds me how old she is, so I'm not utterly clueless when people ask. Anyway, I came across an ad for this, um, product, in the email. It is so shockingly bizarre, unnecessary, and freakish that I had to share it with you, my dear readers. It is a software system that records all the words spoken in the vicinity of your baby (using a special recording device that the baby wears in special clothing that you buy along with the system) plus statistical software to analyze the words to make sure that your baby is hearing enough of them. It costs 750 bux. Honestly, people, you have to see it to believe. And, Lena purveyors, I am sorry if you stumble across this blog post being absolutely horrified that you would even offer such a product to parents, but, um, I'm absolutely horrified. How fucking ridiculous!

Oh and parents, tip: If you can afford to pay that much money for the lena system, and if it seems like something that might conceivably be a good idea, then trust me, you don't need it. Your baby hears you talk just plenty.

Anyway, you must check out the testimonials. Here's an example:

"It is important to be able to view the number of our conversational turns and to compare our statistics with national and local parents. Getting to see the results of how much I interact with my child shows me how many times during the day I am just not cutting it. I thought the weekend would prove more beneficial with both parents, but I noticed Zachary received less direct conversation than when it’s just one-on-one. Awareness of these problems will help us improve greatly. Using LENA helps us become more attentive to what we read and what is said throughout the day.  I am also able to analyze how much I interact with my son compared to his other caregiver.

 

OMFG!