Department of Misleading Headlines, WaPo Torture Edition

NYTimes headline on Gonzales claims that he says ‘torture by U.S. Personnel Illegal’

Attorney general nominee Alberto R. Gonzales, responding to questions about his role in setting controversial detention policies, told members of the Senate Judiciary Committee that any form of torture by U.S. personnel is illegal, according to new documents released yesterday.

But Gonzales, the White House counsel who is expected to be confirmed by the Senate in coming weeks, declined to identify the techniques allowed under U.S. interrogation policies, citing restrictions on classified information. He also reiterated his view that a president could theoretically decide that a U.S. law -- such as the prohibition against torture -- is unconstitutional, though he dismissed the question as irrelevant under President Bush.

"The president has consistently stated that the United States will not use torture in any circumstances, so it is simply implausible that I would ever be called upon to address whether the president's constitutional authority as commander-in-chief would permit him to, in effect, nullify the torture statute for national security reasons," Gonzales wrote in one response. He added later: "I would approach such a question with a great deal of care."

Torture is illegal.
The president has said there will be no torture.
Although if he felt like it, he _could_ order torture.
We won't tell you how we _are_ interrogating people.
But whatever we're doing, it's not torture.
Cuz we said so.

The Biscuit family is going to New Zealand for the month of March, to see if maybe we might like living there instead.